Marauders Take A Trip
by LupusBane
Summary: The Marauders go to Greece... The Muggle way... NO SLASH so please don't mention anything about it... As you may guess, chaos CAN and WILL ensue so be prepared nothing's boring when these guys are around Update! Wootles?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** - Don't own a penny – not even some form of distant teenage stock you can purchase.

**A/N** - Thought of on my way to a family holiday two years ago – I finally found the notes and hopefully I will now carry on with it! Odd references to Greek things included.

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Marauders Take a Trip

"Come on, wake up,"

Remus awoke to the site of his friend, Sirius Black, jumping up and down vigorously on the end of his bed.

"Get up Lazy,"

Bleary eyed and still half asleep, Lupin saw the figure of Padfoot rooting through his drawers.

"Hey! Leave that… God Sirius, do you ever give up?"

Sirius had gotten a pair of Remus' trousers and had put them over his head, to the result of walking into a door.

"Let me sleep! Oh and let my parents sleep too!"

Immediately after saying it, Black found his way out of the trousers and was staring hard at Remus.

"I can't believe you still live with them. You're 19 for Merlin's sake!"

Not waiting for an answer to his indirect question, Sirius now started sifting through Moony's wardrobe.

"I still live with my parents as I can't afford my own place yet. It's hard getting a job if you're a werewolf you know."

"Well that's easy," came the muffled voice of Sirius who seemed to be trying to find Narnia at the back of the closet, "Don't tell them about your lycanthropy and hope for the best."

"Well if you can find a part-time job where I can get at least two days off every month plus normal holidays – oh and the chance I might rip someone's arm off on the night shift – I will gladly accept it! Now please let me die in peace."

Remus collapsed on the bed with a pillow over his face to shut out the noises Sirius was making.

About to drop off, Moony yet again felt his bed sag as Padfoot sat next to him.

"Oh come on, this holiday will be fun. We planned it around you, you know," Black said in a more serious tone.

Removing the pillow, Lupin could see the look on his friend's face.

"Okay, okay," he sighed.

"Good. Now, do you wear anything in bed?" Sirius asked, his childish side returning.

"What sort of question is that? And yes I do, if you really want to know."

"Excellent," Padfoot muttered and without warning grabbed Moony's duvet and pulled it off the bed. Holding it out of Remus' reach, he started to talk again.

"Now I know you're groggy after the full moon two nights back, but you should be over it. Get ready and pack. Lily, James and Peter are downstairs and I don't think Wormtail wants to be left with the lovebirds any longer than necessary. We're going the muggle way so Lily's bought her car and the plane leaves in half an hour."

The last bit he added as if he didn't care, but it woke Remus right up.

"Half an hour?" he cried in despair, "I'm supposed to be packed and ready to go so we can get there in half an hour?"

Jumping to his feet, he grabbed his suitcase he kept on the top of the wardrobe. As he frantically rushed back and forth, Sirius simply stared at him as if he was some form of rare creature. Slowly, he uttered a low cough to catch Moony's attention.

"Eh-hem. Uhhh Remus? Would it help if you put some clothes on first?" pointing to the fact he was standing around in only his boxer shorts.

"Oh yeah. Good thinking,"

He went back to the cupboard and started to put some clothes on the bed, all neatly folded despite his rush.

"What are those for?" Sirius asked, innocently enough.

"Well it depends on how hot it is. As I don't know that, I can't decide yet."

He immediately went back to packing as Sirius answered his question.

"It's gonna be 32 degrees when we get there, and it's currently 16 degrees here."

Peering down at the clothes, Padfoot helpfully picked out a red T-shirt with a diagonal white and blue strip, and a pair of faded denim cut-offs.

"Wear these," he added nicely.

Not knowing what to do with the rest, he absent mindedly threw them into the open wardrobe.

"Thanks Padfoot," Remus said, grabbing the clothes Sirius had picked out and got quickly dressed.

"Can you think of anything else I need?" he asked Black hurriedly.

"Well you need clothes: swimwear, casual wear, formal wear, underwear… you get the idea. Toiletries would also be good," he answered in a laid back manner.

"Oh yeah, I forgot my toothbrush," Lupin realised before running into the bathroom.

With a wink, Sirius added, "If you get lucky you can get some stuff over there, but it would help if you know a bit of Greek!"

Remus either didn't hear or chose to ignore him, but came back with a small bag full of bathroom items all the same.

"Okay, I have everything – now we can go."

He grabbed his keys, wand and wallet from the bedside table before picking up his packed suitcase and running through the door with Sirius following slowly.

While Padfoot was still in the upstairs hallway, Moony had gotten down the stairs, shouted goodbye to his parents and written a small note giving information to his family if they had to contact him.

As soon as Sirius got downstairs he was bowled over backwards as the short figure of Peter jumped on him.

"Sirius, help! Prongs and Lily are trying to make Bambi! Help!"

Wormtail then dived behind Black as Lily and James made their way to the front door, still kissing.

"Sheesh you two, you're freaking Pete out here! Get a room or something,"

As James went through the door, Remus heard him whisper something about Peter being a perverted rat under his breath.

Lily got to the car and started it up as James took Remus' bag and put it carefully in the boot. Still waiting for Sirius and Peter, the two lovebirds had yet again gone back to sharing saliva in the car. Feeling it rude to look, Remus turned back to the door to shout at Wormtail and Padfoot to get a move on.

After around five minutes, Sirius came out dragging Peter by the scruff of the neck.

"What happened? And why did it take so long?" Remus asked with a tone of annoyance in his voice.

"Petey here wanted food, and you know what he's like," Sirius answered as he dragged Peter into the back of Lily's car. Quickly locking the front door, Moony ran over to the now jam packed vehicle and threw himself in.

Lily and James sat in front with Padfoot and Moony sandwiching Peter in the back. Sirius had complained about Prongs being a lucky sod for sitting in the front, as at least he didn't have to make sure Peter didn't try and escape through the sun roof.

In Moony's opinion, everyone was too laid back about travelling over fifty miles in under fifteen minutes so he raised the question as they pulled out of his driveway.

"Uhhh, you guys? Don't we have to be there in about ten minutes?" he said innocently.

It was met with raucous laughter: Sirius' bark, Lily's quiet giggle, Peter's squeak and James' snort.

"What? Have I missed something?" Lupin asked, down right bewildered.

"What did Sirius tell you up in your room mate?" James managed to ask through his laughter, "The plane leaves at 2.15pm and we have to be at the airport for 1.15pm. If you failed to look at your watch, we have about an hour which is more than enough."

He returned to laughing his head off as Remus stared into the back of Lily's headrest. She was the only one who had calmed down enough to have a sane conversation.

"It's alright Remus; Sirius was just being a prat as per usual."

This did little to lighten Moony's mood but he decided to let it settle for a while. Silence filled the car until Sirius started laughing again.

"Come off it Padfoot, it's not funny anymore," James cried in despair.

"No, it's not that," Sirius answered stifling another laugh.

"What then?" Peter asked.

"That pigeon over there keeps trying to fly backwards…"

At this he was rolling around as best as he could on the car seat.

"I really wonder why I bother with men," Lily sighed, jokingly hitting her head off the steering wheel.

The rest of the journey was held in virtual silence – not counting the random giggles from Sirius and the whines of Peter. Out of the window, the motorway flew past and it was not long before a distant rumble echoed into the car.

"Ah! Help!" Sirius started shouting, "We're being attacked by dragons!"

He pointed up out of the sunroof at a large winged creature soaring over the road. Remus peered up as best as he could whilst Padfoot was using him as a human (or were-wolf) shield.

Peter was in an equal state, trying to hide beneath his coat and whimpering quietly as the struggle on the backseat continued.

"Sirius… SIRIUS!" Lily yelled in agitation, "it's an aeroplane. It's going to the airport. That's where WE'RE going…"

Her explanation had no effect on her friend as he continued to shout for help. James looked reasonably baffled at why his best mate was being so dramatic. Remus couldn't care about the flying contraption – he was more concerned about keeping all his limbs intact with the growing ferociousness of Sirius' thrashings.

Lily decided to compose herself until they were able to park and she could unleash the full aggravation she was feeling towards the idiot in the back of her car. Reaching over towards the highly confused James, she switched on the radio and turned it up until Padfoot's now muffled barks were drowned out.

As they turned off towards the airport parking, they hit a queue of cars waiting to go their individual ways. It was inevitable they were to cause some commotion, with the music from the radio pounding and someone struggling in the backseat – it truly looked like someone was being kidnapped. A young boy in the back of an expensive looking car was peering at the troop in horror. Sirius had taken to biting Remus who was desperately trying to cover his friend's mouth so as to cause even less trouble. Stealing a glance upwards, Moony noticed the boy and smiled as sweetly as he could. In return the child dived beneath the window and was only seen by the group again when the boy's car drove off – it was then that he dared to look back at them.

Time flew as the fight continued, and with a lurch the car came to a sudden stop. Everyone froze in their respective positions as Lily turned around, practically fuming at the scene.

Sirius was being pinned down by Remus, but he had put up a resistance and his hand was firmly fixed around his friend's throat. Moony had tried to quell Padfoot's shouts by covering his mouth and his hand was bloodied from all the biting. Peter was curled up in the corner still wimpering, with the seatbelt twisted around his arm. James was sitting perfectly still, preparing for the shock which was about to come.

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU, SIRIUS BLACK!" she screamed.

Everyone jumped into a straight backed sitting position – as if sitting in front of McGonagall when caught at one of their nightly escapades. She looked at each of them with an icy stare before continuing.

"I can live with a small outburst, which is then silenced… I can live with silence… I can live with almost anything! But I have never been so embarrassed by your idiocy in my whole life! That was an aeroplane… As we have explained many times before, it is harmless and safe and definitely NOT a dragon. Perhaps we are just trying to explain the meaning of life to a bloody goldfish, but if you choose to forget what we tell you, then DON'T LET IT AFFECT THE REST OF US!"

Sirius whimpered quietly and sunk low into his seat. Remus looked reproachfully at him before realising it was true what Lily had said. They had tried to explain over and over that aeroplanes were not evil etcetera, but he would not accept it. And of course, Peter went along with anything.

Lily had almost calmed down and James laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. Her gaze met his and they exchanged a quick smile before a loud knock made them all look at her window. Outside, in a smart black and white uniform stood airport security…

She wound down her window and he cleared his throat to address the occupants of the car.

"I'd like you lot to come with me. Seems you had a bit of a scuffle on the way here, and I'd like you to explain yourselves."

Everyone looked harshly at Sirius, who broke out in a broad smile.

"I'm going to ride a dragon!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer** - Don't own a penny – not even some form of distant teenage stock you can purchase.

**A/N -** Thought of on my way to a family holiday two years ago – I finally found the notes and hopefully I will now carry on with it! Odd references to Greek things included. Now just to let you know, the only reason this has been updated so quickly is because I haven't slept all night - IT'S NOT THE USUAL! Seriously it isn't...

Review Info  
Dan: _Come again?_  
Hanny: _Yeah, no honest idea why I did that... Probably my hatred for people like that getting put into writing... But that still makes no sense whatsoever... Sorry_  
General note anyway:_ I have never been so inundated with reviews - I felt like crying... And here's a new chapter for you._

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Marauders Take a Trip

"I'm going to ride a dragon!" Sirius said for the twenty seventh time in a row.

The exasperated security guard put his head in his hands and asked him again.

"Why did you go mad in the car Mr Black?"

"I'm going to ride a dragon!"

A small scream emanated from the corner, where Lily, James, Peter and Remus were sitting. They had been sitting in the airport security office for more than an hour – too late to catch their designated flight of course. They had been represented by Lily, who knew the muggle code of conduct better than any of the others, and the explanation had been almost accepted by the guards.

Almost.

They felt it right to question Sirius to as why he went mad in the car, and if he would be safe to travel. At the mere mention of this Remus had groaned, but Sirius looked happy to co-operate. If you can call repeating "I'm going to ride a dragon!" every time he was asked a question co-operation.

The waste paper basket was brimming with empty coffee cups; the once standing guards had resorted to sitting on the floor and James was playing solitaire with Peter's cards. Everyone was tired, annoying, bored and aching – and their only way to fix it was to get Sirius to stop being… well, Sirius.

From the corner, a quiet cough caught the attention of the head security guard.

"Umm, Mr Johnson? Can I go to the bathroom please?" Remus piped up, weirdly out of character.

The others shot him a weird look, but the guard wearily accepted.

"I need to go to," Sirius said, "so I'll go with Moony."

He darted out of the door before anyone could argue and Remus tentatively followed him. As soon as they were outside the door, he grabbed Padfoot by his jacket collar and roughly but subtly dragged him to the nearest restroom. He was whining in annoyance at being manhandled, but was silenced by a look when the door was closed behind them.

"Sirius Black, you shall shut up about dragons this instant and talk some sense to that man! Thanks to you we are late, annoyed, tired and generally bored. If we have to pay fees for getting a later flight, YOU shall pay them. And you can pay for all our coffees. So get back in there, sober up and tell us all why you went mental and nearly gave me rabies!"

"But… I'm going to ride a dragon…"

"One more word about dragons and I shall personally take you to Wales and FEED YOU TO ONE!"

Remus' rare loss of composition jolted Sirius back into some form of sanity. He looked pathetically up at his friend before turning his gaze to the floor and shuffling his feet.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Something like you saw someone who reminded you of someone from somewhere in your life where you saw someone like the someone you saw on the way here."

Moony took in a deep breath and steadied himself against the nearest cubicle as Sirius took it all in.

"Okay… Story sorted… Now, can I go to the loo? I'm bursting…"

Remus shook his head and walked outside slowly, heading back for the guard room. A few minutes later, Sirius caught him up and they walked together the final few metres to the "holding pen" as James later nicknamed it.

Taking their seats inside, the questioning started again.

"Mr Black; what did you see that made you lose control in the car?"

"Well on the motorway I saw a weird man standing on the bank. I recognised him from last night's Crimewatch and went slightly mad when I realised it was the serial murderer who's trademark was to dump the bodies on the highway. None of these guys knew what I was on about and they tried to shut me up, so I couldn't warn anybody."

Everyone's jaw dropped as Sirius smiled happily. Lily, James and Peter looked at Remus accusingly, who continued to look at his other friend in complete shock. He expected him to say something weird, but this was a new record for the Padfoot journal.

"So… you saw a serial murderer on the motorway and your friends just thought you went berserk? Well I suppose that would explain the madness involving dragons…" the guard said partially to himself.

"I'm going to ride-" he started before stopping himself, remembering Moony's promise.

The rest of the guards started to stir as Mr Johnson rose from his seat.

"Right guys, phone the police and get them on that motorway now. We should catch him whilst the trail is still hot. Mr Black, thank you for finally co-operating – I'm sure the police will want to contact you about your sighting. We have your details, but for now you can go."

Everyone stood up wearily, still staring at Remus and Sirius. After the story he had come up with to get himself out of trouble, they were debating whether to kill their insane friend or hug him.

As they left the room, James took the discreet version of option one. Hooking his arm around his shoulders, he also grabbed his neck and started to squeeze.

"You git! What did you say that for! Now they think there's a serial killer trying to leave the country and you're the only witness. I vote we leave you here and go on holiday ourselves…"

"I second that," muttered Lily.

"I third it," Peter piped up.

"But…" Sirius gasped, "Remus told me to do it!"

Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked angrily at Remus. In the middle of the check-in area, other passengers were wandering about and a few people gave them evil looks for not moving to a more discreet location.

"I… but…" Lupin started, trying to defend himself, "I never said that! I suggested he say he saw someone who reminded him of someone so he could go into a state of shock. I NEVER told him to mention a murderer for Merlin's sake!"

"Not good enough Moony, you know what Sirius is like," James hissed.

The were-wolf looked innocently at his friends. They wouldn't do anything stupid, would they? Of course not… not in a public place… but what would happen later? He dreaded to think!

Sirius broke free and quickly put Remus into an arm lock.

"What should we do to him? Eh? How 'bout we put him in a suitcase and send him on board? Or we could-"

"He'd never fit mate; we could tie him to a trolley and leave him." Peter murmured.

Lily shook her head in annoyance. She roughly dragged Black's arm away from Lupin's head and slapped his hand.

"You leave Remus alone. If it wasn't for him we'd still be in there! Now we need to go to the check-in desk and see what they can do with our stupid tickets."

She marched off, leaving the men (or boys…) behind looking bewildered. They all quickly jogged after her and caught up with her in their queue. It was almost empty, as everyone had finished arriving and it was only the very late stragglers left to check-in.

Looking forwards, she continued to ignore them as they stood behind her talking amongst themselves. Peter and Sirius were discussing ways to get back at Remus, whilst the other two stood in silence.

It wasn't long before it was their turn at the desk, and they were met with a tired but still pretty smile. Lily opened her mouth to talk, but was immediately pushed aside by Sirius who decided to initiate conversation.

"Hello. How're you today? Whatever you feel like you still look gorgeous. Fancy staying the night with me? Let's say in the Maldives. Anywhere you want babe…"

A swift kick from Remus quickly silenced the flirting Padfoot who was pushed aside by James as Lily again tried to talk.

"Sorry about that – the idiots I'll have to spend two weeks with… we were waylaid on our way here and wondering what we can do about the flight?"

She put on her sweetest smile as Sirius complained loudly from his position on the floor.

"You can still catch your assigned plane if you hurry. It was delayed for half an hour so you should be ok. No extra fees, but you can't all sit together. We have a single seat and two double seats if you're interested. Otherwise they will be all single. Not many people have turned up today."

"Probably scared of that serial murderer on the loose…" Peter muttered under his breath.

The check-in attendant completely ignored him as she started typing away at her keyboard.

"I'll need all the relevant forms and I'll sort out your baggage." She said politely.

Turning to the others, Lily addressed them as she removed paperwork from her backpack.

"You lot, go get the luggage. Quicker you get it, quicker we get into the departure lounge and more relaxation time – got it?"

They all nodded and hurried off at once, back out the large doors towards the car park.

Sighing again, Lily handed the attendant the papers before giving her an exasperated look.

"I feel for you, honestly I do," the attendant remarked.

"If you see all five of us in a healthy condition walking out of this airport in two weeks, it'll be a very big miracle."

The woman smiled before returning to the computer monitor.


End file.
